upper middle class couch bears no evidence of contact with naked ass - $500

Reply to: sale-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-28, 4:31PM EDT
I am offering a very nice, upper middle class couch for sale. The wife and I bought it from Ethan Allen two years ago for thousands. But you know how it is. It doesn't go with the new drapes my wife bought when she was pissed at me for having that obvious affair with my secretary. So we're redecorating. Again.
I'll put it to you this way, this thing has clearly been used. I mean, it's had 3 kids and the dog all over it. But it's a fricking Ethan Allen sofa, people! I paid two grand for it, not two years ago. And it's not like you could afford to buy one of these babies new, now can you?
It's a hell of a couch, if not for the fact that it's from Falmouth, but also because it's particularly resilient. It's had my naked, sweaty, hairy ass on it more times than I can count but you wouldn't know it. That's because I paid extra to have it Scotch-guarded. I'm telling you. It's repelled the stains of semen, vomit, sweat, shrimp scampi, wine, baby spit up, and urine. And that's just what I can recall off the top of my head as I sit at my gorgeous mahogany desk in my Portland office between clients.
There is one place where my extremely high-end exotic cat has badly scratched the couch, but that won't be noticeable to you, Mr. Munjoy Hill.
So please contact me and let me know when you can bring your rusted out Subaru to my semicircle driveway to pick it up. My wife will be happy to pretend she's heartbroken to see her couch go as she looks down her beautifully reshaped nose at you. And I'll be glad to stare hungrily at your 22-year-old girlfriend's fine, fine art school ass as the two of you haul it out through the double doors of our mcfoyer.

"Rod Iron Metal Scrolled furniture shelf like a small bakers rack - $15"

Reply to: sale-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-22, 1:44PM EDT
This is a cute shelf made of a rod iron like metal. It has a green finish and nice scroll work and embellishments. Could have many uses. Cleaning house and making room for new furniture. In New Condition Measurments 19 inches Wide 8 and 1/2 inches Deep 48 Inches Tall $15.00 Priced to go
This item has been posted by-owner.
Location: Gorham
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial

To the judge, who tried me yesterday (B&E and assult ) - m4w - 24

Date: 2007-05-05, 4:40PM EDT
I really felt the connection. If you could find it in your heart to hear me out, I'd love to make you dinner sometime. It could be at my place and I'll use plastic ware. Let me know... - Case #51**0

Dog Park - m4w - 41

Date: 2007-04-23, 10:39AM EDT
Saw you, tall slim lady with cute dog at dogpark. Wanted to ask your name but your dog bit me in the balls. Maybe next time I will wear a cup and ask you for a date.

Sunday in the crosswalk - m4w - 35

Date: 2007-04-23, 10:11AM EDT
to that beautiful goth girl all dressed in black who yelled 'f*ck off' to me when i walked in front of her car" in downtown portsmouth, want to go get coffee sometime?

YO! Whateverrrrr! Biaaaaaatch!

Me, laid back, cool, somewhat attractive, semi-fit, love laughing, love different types of food, love hangin with someone with the same likenesses, self-proclaimed computer geek, small business owner (plumbing Co.), love building bikes (motorcycles) me and friends (not for a business), Love to have someone who loves sex (not just says they do!, very common!) I prefer slim, average or healthy girls, under 6' that consider themselves to be attractive. If a girl thinks she's attractive then she probably is. I just want to hang with someONE and have a good time. I dont smoke or drink but wont mind someone who drinks (a little!).

What's your favorite thing about Atlanta? The variety, and the tons of places to eat!

What's your least favorite thing about Atlanta? All the racial bullshit.

What are your 5 favorite local hangouts? Dixie Tavern, Dark Horse Tavern, Red Door, The pool Hall (for shock value), Star Bar.......Wherever da partys at!

What's your favorite slang expression? "Motherfucker!"

What's under your bed? Dust Bunnies

What's your guiltiest pleasure? Sugar

What's your most prized possession? My Dog

What's one thing people are surprised to find out about you? It used to be that I had tattoos, but now probably that Im very passionate about certain things.

Quote a line from your favorite movie. hmmmmmm, seriously there are tons! Ill have to pick later.

I consider myself an open-minded person, but my deal breakers are smokers and prudes

It's Sunday morning at 10 a.m. If I'm not still sleeping, I'm workin in the shop or on the computer

The quickest way to my heart is laughter / honesty The quickest way to my bed is flirting and openess And in the morning, I like my eggs cooked scrambled w/cheese

When I die, I believe I will go to outer space

I wouldn't be who I am if I was someone else

I wouldn't sell my dog for a billion dollars.

If I could have any super hero power, it would be super strength and i would use it in evil ways

Aspiring Renaissance Man

I'm hoping to find a woman who is cute, active, smart, irreverent, and can appreciate me for who I am. If you're a bit of a hippy and/or a foody, so much the better, The bar scene has never been my forte, just a place to throw darts with the guys once in a while. Believe it or not, it's really difficult to meet new female friends as a male massage therapist. Besides the ethical boundary of dating a client, I guess they figure I'm gay, or some kind of gigolo. Neither is true.
I teach cooking classes a few times a month,do some food consulting/private chef work, donate my time when I can, and work on building my massage practice constantly. I have friends and family over quite often to dinner; it's probably my favorite hobby.I also enjoy sailing, golf, and all mountain sports (hike, bike, ski, board, tele)I've been really focused on my health and fitness since my last birthday, and I feel great.I've recently become addicted to hooping; just google it and you'll get the idea. All my life lacks is you!