Date: 2010-06-10, 4:01AM EDT
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Oh my, I don't even want to think about our time in the sandwich shop again, for it brings me such forlorn and pointless hope that it hurts to think about. I knew I shouldn't have walked into Giacomo's in downtown Bangor without enough money for a creature such as you.
You, my sweet, were perhaps the most delicious-looking sandwich I'd ever seen in my existence! Why do you exist?!? To taunt me?? Well, if that was your aim -- To tempt me with things you know I cannot have -- Like your luscious turkey curves and lettuce frills, well then miss, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Those sons (and daughters) of bitches working at that place are keeping you hostage! how dare they! With a ransom on your pretty little head upwards of 6 dollars! How EVIL! Don't they know that I am but a lowly college student, and hence cannot afford your cheese covered exstacy? Oh Sandy, some day I will save up enough to liberate you from your icy cold refrigerated prison, then we will embrace, mouth-to-mouth, your form eagerly dripping with ranch dress-- Oh god, I should stop there. Someday, Sandy, Some day!!!
Yours, - Desperately Seeking Sandwich