Friday, October 30, 2009

need my beg woman in my arms - 51 (soth nh)

Date: 2009-10-28, 12:06PM EDT
i am looking for my sweet beg woman i am 51 years old and need a good woman to come home to for the rest of my live can you give me the love that i need i will give it to you for the rest of your life i swear i will never fight with you i will just love you moor then you know i will cook for and hand feed you and pamper you that is the way a good man treets a woman hit me back
Location: soth nh

Seeking Mentally Ill high school drop-out - 30

Date: 2009-10-28, 7:25PM EDT
I am obviously not looking for the right person because I can never find the perfect girl for me. They all seem so normal and I can never find a girl that is willing to commit. I am going to compile a list of requirements the girl must meet before I will even consider dating them.
1. Must be mentally ill
2. Jobless
3. living with parents/homeless
4. has psycho ex
5. at least 20,000 in debt
6. high school drop out
7. humorless
8. boring
9. no sex drive
10. no friends
I guess the list is shorter then I thought> If you meet these requirements please feel free to email me. If you don’t meet them, I am sorry but we will not work out.
Location: Concord, NH

Still Awesome, Still Waiting - 34

Date: 2009-10-29, 2:12PM EDT
To whom it may concern: Just because nobody will hire me, doesn't mean I'm not awesome. I can still operate in a very awesome fashion. I will help out. I will help you carry in your groceries, install your printer, and alphabetize your dvds/cds. When necessary, if all goes well and conditions are at their most optimal awesomeness, I will even have sex with you. So you see, someone doesn't have to have a job to be considered awesome, wouldn't you agree? More reasons why I'm awesome:
-I can kiss without getting drool on you
-I have most local dollar menus memorized
-Never once has anyone ever complained about me being too big in bed
-I whistle while I work, but I don't work, so you won't have to deal with me whistling all the time -I rarely belch
-One time I taught a bird to fly
-I'm great at giving back/butt massages
-In the middle of sex, I sometimes get disorientated, and call out my own name
-I can sing like a dying cat
-Sometimes I can comprehend poetry
-I can promise you that I will almost always say bless you when you sneeze
-I can get your bra off in seven to ten minutes flat, if you help me
-Last night I dreamed somebody loved me
-I have a way of making people feel valued
-On occasion, I have fallen in love really really fast, I have the restraining orders to prove it
-I can provide references upon request
-My hugs are have been known to crack backs
-I went to college and made a real big debt
-I can pee sitting down
-When cornered by old people, I'm polite and listen to their incoherent stories
-I'm starting to like reggae
-Coffee makes me have to poop -
I'm thankful for the men and women serving in our military
-I can play scrabble really good
-When I was a wee lad, I could moonwalk with the best of them
-If you want me to teach you how to catch crayfish I will
-I've lived in 3 states that start with "New"
-I don't discriminate based on race, only poor grammar
-My favorite president would have to be Johnson, I love my Johnson!
-I don't mind letting you be on top
Location: here

Two words that don't belong in the same post "TGIF" (restaurant) & "sexy"

Halloween week lets meet - 35
Date: 2009-10-29, 4:39PM EDT
Hey how’s it going? I’m 5’11” 190lbs clean cut and fit male I’ve been posting a little bit this week and so far haven’t found anyone that has time or that I’m into...so thought I’d try it again. I’m not into games or drama I’m 100% up front. I am divorced and I’m a little picky:) So don’t be afraid to hit me up, ya never know. I’m pretty laid back ,I am a nice guy but also can be the bad boy you’re looking for. If real and serious heading out tonight to tgif for there party come by lets have a drink and chat. I will be the sexy Pirate.
Location: Manchester

Blond Heir

looking to get to know you - 31
Date: 2009-10-29, 8:59PM EDT
well here gos I'm a Christin man how love my church and music.... hold on lets do this a nether way (goods) tall, 6ft 1in blond heir ,super blue eyes, strong , hard working yes i have a job , kind of a handy man i can fix things , i like to be helpful, grate dad to my two kids, love music yes i can sing and i play guitar well i try, i have my own car, and place to live ,i love the out doors,but i also like to watch a good movie and I'm a hopeless romantic love walks on the beach or in the snow,a picnics on the side of a river or at a lake, but we can talk about that later, i m a kind hearted loving guy i love to laugh and to have fun being silly i am in to guy stuff cars fishing ext to give an over view of how i am .........OK the(not so good) first I'm kind of a big guy not super big but i am working on losing 75 pounds i could use a beautiful women to help motivate i drive a grandpa car as of now but hope to buy a truck soon but we'll see,in closing I'm looking for a women how thinks would like a men like me o there is one more thing PLEASE SEND A PIC if you cant send on craigslist ask for email and ill give it to you so you can send direct
Location: Rochester NH

"Draped"? Short for date raped?

hair cut for massage - 46
Date: 2009-10-30, 7:33AM EDT
Hi all i am a 46 male i have been layed off and in need of a hair cut willing to trade for a great massage i am very good at it u will be draped plz send pic if you can i will return one thanks to all D
Location: wilton area

Decease Free

X-RATED BUT ITS SOMETHING WE BOTH MAY NEED - 50
Date: 2009-10-30, 6:51PM EDT
ARE YOU LONELY BUT DONT WANT A L.T.R.,WELL HERES AN IDEA,,WHY DONT WE GET TOGETHER,I HAVE A MAGICAL TOUNGE,IT WILL MAKE YOU SQUIRM.ILL SERVICE YOUR NEEDS AND YOU CAN SERVICE MINE,IM SLOW,STEADY AND DETERMINED TO SATISFY ANY LADY THAT RESPONDS,,WE ARE AFTER ALL ADULTS.IM SAFE,SANE,AND LONELY,,IF INTERESTED CALL ME SIX SIX NINE--ZERO TWO FIVE FIVE,,IM SINGLE AND DECEASE FREE,,LOOKING FOR NOW OR THROUGH THE WEEKEND,,PLEASE NO GAMES OR SPAM WERE BOTH TO OLD FOR THAT DON
Location: MANCHESTER

Thursday, October 29, 2009

WANT TO WATCH T.V AND EAT POPCORN IN BED - 49

Date: 2009-10-28, 5:21AM EDT
IM LOOKING FOR 1 LADY WHO IS REAL.NOT SPAM TO COME OVER WATCH T.V AND EAT POPCORN IN BED,NOW THERES A SIN IF I EVER HEARD ONE L.O.L.BUT REALLY WHATS A BUTTER WAY TO LEARN ABOUT EACH OTHER.L.O.L. IM 49 SINGLE ,,LOOKING FOR SOME ONE TO SHARE LIFE WITH,IM RETIRED AND SPEND MOST DAYS ALONE.,IF YOU WANT TO COME OVER TODAY AND HANG OUT,,WITH NO PRESSURE WE CAN,NO WORRYS,,IM NOT AN AXE MURDERER YET,IM SAFE,SANE AND EASY GOING.420 FRIENDLY,,IF YOU LIKE,A SMOKER,,NON DRINKER,WEAR MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE.VERY LOVABLE,NOW WHAT IM LOOKING FOR IS A LADY WHO IS SUBMISSIVE IN THE BEDROOM,18-50.HAS FAULTS, AND ISNT PERFECT,IF THATS YOU DROP ME A LINE,,SIX SIX NINE ---ZERO XXXX FIVE FIVE DON ASAP PLEASE
Location: MANCHESTER

Frawlic

DO U NEED A FRIEND - 46
Date: 2009-10-28, 7:13AM EDT
HI IAM LOOKING FOR AWOMAN WHO ENJOYS QUITE TIMES /MOVIE /CANDELS HOTTUB FUN AND FRAWLIC IF THIS IS U E MAIL ME
Location: SEACOAST

HALLOWEEN DATE - 42

Date: 2009-10-28, 10:04AM EDT
Tall long haired biker type seeks sexy lady for intense halloween party! Must be able to party deep into night. I will buy the costume if needed! Hit me up with interest. B
Location: SOUTHERN NH

Monday, October 19, 2009

Yikes

Any women into dogs? - 25
Date: 2009-10-18, 10:15PM EDT
I'm looking for an open minded woman to see where things go. Hit me up if this sounds like you.
Location: Plymouth

Normal Guy Longs for Female Friendship Only Before we Join Our Souls - 47

Date: 2009-10-19, 2:56PM EDT
I am a very nice man. Do not smoke, do not drink, do not use drugs and try to be a gentle loving person. I am a single man. Love my books, love to paint in oils and watercolors, I have made my meager living at writing. I am a senior writer at an established company. But, I am longing for a slim or slender female that likes the ocean, woods, and virgin forest of the North Country. I hope to find a female under 130 lbs. And under 5'0 tall. Too find such a rare female is a mirracle indeed. I know that this is so rare in this United States that I feel like a jerk. So, all Asian females normally semi pretty females please I beg respond to my ad. Thank You so Much, Mike
Location: Nashua and Tyngsboroug for now

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

crossing the lines - 40

Date: 2009-10-13, 11:15AM EDT
Well its bad enough that im putting my body pictures on here i am not about to show my face so don't even ask, just in case my boss' might be on here...who knows? huh unless you are looking for real relationship, honestly i want someone who wants me for me instead of just my body so here goes, first of all i have never dated outside of my race bu thats cool so i ain't tripping about that , skin color don't matter as long as you are clean and know how to treat a brother thats all i ask, no cheaters or haters,or broke ass women who beg all the time ... i would like to see what all the fuss is about when brothers date white, Indian and asain so its all good, anyway im blessed down there as you can see, but im tired of being used for my dick alone. so fuk those sisters with all that drama , i ain't with that shit, besides i like older women anyway cause when they love you its real and they dont play games. so if you real and want a good man with good dick holla at me for real..." five,0,xxx,three,xxx,one,0,xxx,two,eight ...."my name is dee. i live in mass but come to Hampshire all the time
Location: live free state

Monday, October 5, 2009

Carl Does Computers

Seeking a romantic partner! (New Hampshire)
Date: 2009-10-05, 1:25AM EDT
I have placed this post before and received a couple of good replies but mostly junk. I have heard from perverts and people too ignorant to sign their email. Now I hope I hear from someone special.
I am seeking a romantic partner! I am cuddly, affectionate, romantic, and passionate.
I am Carl, a writer who lives in New Hampshire.
I am 6 feet tall, longish dark brown hair, beard, hazel eyes, and medium build.
I am reasonably attractive, not beautiful and not ugly.
I am sincere, sensitive, had a good sense of humor, and am honest.
I love to make love (above all else), cuddle (just about above all else), read (I read 3-4 hours a night), do email, talk online with friends, do computers, hike, nature, mythology, and lots of other stuff.
I am seeking someone who is honest but not to the point of hurting someone, sensitive, romantic, affectionate, and passionate.
If you like this post, please send me a nice email, not a one-liner, and sign your name. I get creeps from Craigslist who send me one-liners and don't sign their name. Such emails will just be deleted.
I am really looking forward to hearing from you and to getting to know you! Please get back to me soon!
Hugs, Carl
Location: New Hampshire

Coffee or Lunch Today - 37

Date: 2009-10-05, 10:12AM EDT
Hi, Bored working from home and was curious to see if anyone out there would like to take some time today and Have lunch or coffee today and maybe kiss Passionately if the chemistry is right.lol. I'm a normal attractive guy, 5'11, 200#'s with brown hair and blue eyes. Attach a pic and I'll send you one in return. Thank you and hope to hear from you soon.
Location: So. NH

who is gone win the he devil or the she or

Date: 2009-10-05, 11:48AM EDT
both
Location: backed up

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Kinky Side... But Honest & Real - 44

Date: 2009-10-03, 5:44PM EDT
First of all I am straight as an arrow and looking for an LTR with a normal women. Tired of the bar scenes and so I thought I would give this a try. I enjoy doing almost anything outdoors. My one weakness is sneakers..... Mainly I find women wearing sneakers a huge turn on. Not really sure why, but i do. I have got a lot of of sneakers in a size 7.5 & 8, Keds, Converse, Tretorns, .... If your ok with this drop me a line and maybe we can chat. Figured it can't hurt to be honest...can it? Plus I do know how to treat a women and I'm not into playing head games at all. So I know your real and not spam type in your favorite color in the subject box please.
Location: Southern, NH

Crap Smeller

next! - 53 (so/nh)
Date: 2009-10-02, 11:30PM EDT
I have read alot of these stupid things on craigslist, and any other personnal thing you can think of! And all I see and hear is women wanting the perfect man to show up with flowers and just sweep them off there feet. Well ladies it won't happen. If you want look deep inside and find the right person ask, don't dream. Me no I am not your ex husband or anything ex in your life, but if you want to know about my future! then maybe we can talk... I too am not into head games so I can give and recieve smoke with the best of them! I can smell crap with my crap smeller.! I want someone also to live the rest of my life with! Just let me know with no crap! I am a loving person and want more for my life too!
Location: so/nh

Ladies, are you humans? - 35

Date: 2009-10-03, 12:04PM EDT
**********************************************
I received several e-mails, thanks. I think, I need to clarify two things: 1. I am straight. 2. I am not looking for a paid love. I am not that desperate yet. I am trying to find a woman with similar ideas. Thanks.
*********************************************
Hi! I am a good-looking, gentle, sexy, and smart 35 year old guy with a good sense of humor. I am self-supporting (working full-time). I am straight. I do not drink, do not smoke, and do not do drugs. I am healthy and well educated. Not slim and not fat. I am real and sane. In short, I am a normal human being (although, way above an average one). My wife is a good friend who prefers friendship-like relations in marriage. That is, going out, on parties, shopping, or other entertainments is the primary activity while sex is the secondary activity or, better, excluded at all (“I’m having headache”, “I’m tired”, “My favorite serial on TV now”, etc.). I start thinking that the peak of sexual harmony between man and woman is to have headache simultaneously. Last time when she initiated sex was just before I married her 15 years ago. Ladies, what is wrong with you? Is there anyone out there thinking alike? Don’t you feel a natural human demand in a normal sexual life at all? Ladies, are you humans? So, I am looking for a pretty woman, better single (single moms, divorced, etc.) or in the same situation as I, for long term relationships (preferably), mostly to have good sex together. If someone has similar ideas, please, e-mail me.
Location: NH, Upper Valley

Looking for college girls who want to walk on the wild side - 35

Date: 2009-10-03, 3:11PM EDT
ME: Think Tatoos, harley, scruff, beer, criminal record, naughty, hair pulling, ass slapping, fine line between love and hate, handcuffs, late nights.
You: Looking for something that has been missing in your life. Living! Email me and let me know how we should spend out first adventure. (picture a plus)
Location: Keene

Got arrested, Goin to Jail, want to marry so I can hve conjugal visits - 37

Date: 2009-10-03, 3:02PM EDT
I got popped this week and it looks like I am going to have to do a little stretch in the pen. I have heard that if I am married I can have a woman come and visit me in the slammer so I would like to do this quickly. A little about me. I do not like long walks in the park. I do like Harleys and toplessness. I am not a good listener but also do not snore. No drama here just good time and good rides. What am I looking for? You should not want any kids. Preferably your tubes would be tied. I hate protection (we both know it feel better without it). You should be flexible and limber. Experimental is good but if you describe yourself as something like a "furrie" that is bad. Hit me up. I would like to try it before I buy it and I only have about a month to get this done. Pictures a plus. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Location: Walpole

looking for a date two night - 32

Date: 2009-10-03, 3:49PM EDT
i am corey and looking for a wonman to go out two night if you or up for good time lot me no asp
Location: manchester

Friday, October 2, 2009

You threw your lit cigarette at my face outside Starbucks - 30

Date: 2009-09-30, 11:02PM EDT
I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop and chat --- I was in such a rush to do my errands --- but you too seemed to be in a giant rush to run inside and grab your extra-whip venti white chocolate mocha. You were in such a hurry that even after your friend pointed out how close your cig came to burning my face, you didn't have time to say "sorry" or "excuse me." Anyway, I just wanted to write to let you know how much I love it when Big Beautiful Women wear pajama pants/tee-shirt ensembles out in public. It conveys a postmodern "I've totally given up on life" attitude that so many men find intoxicating. Additionally, your hair was exquisite. I can tell that your life is so full of fun and adventure that you don't even have time to buy a bottle of Prell, but there's nothing more exciting than a woman on the go. Listen, I'm sure you have far too many male suitors for you to even consider reading Craigslist missed connections, but on the off chance that you see this and you haven't been felled by heart disease or any of the myriad cancers you're courting ... I'd love to take you and your slightly less-hot friend to dinner. We'll have all the things you love! I envision beginning with some wings, then moving on to a few chicken parms, some buckets of General Tso's, even more buckets of the Colonel's extra-crispy, a jalapeno-popper palate cleanser, followed by approximately 27 stuffed-crust pizzas, as many McDonald's #2 value meals as you can eat before you get bored, and finally a jaunt to Cheesecake Factory for dessert. And at the end of the night, if you're still hungry (no doubt about that) and feeling in the mood (fingers crossed!), we can end with some edible underwear and a Colt 45 fountain. Looking forward to hearing from you!
Location: New Hampshire

I just thought you should know ..... - 48

Date: 2009-09-30, 9:15PM EDT
I just thought you should know ..... I read your ad. I saw your pictures. Seriously. You really are a very attractive female. Little doubt you're one heck of a catch. I love the fact that you are a self-proclaimed "intlectual" with "a philisophical" side. I really admire the energy you have and think it's terrific that you're "constintly" on the go. I thought it was great that we share a common interest in travel. "Burmuda" really is a fantastic place to visit with seemingly endless "senic" beauty. Unfortunately, you're a lousy speller and strike me as a complete moron. Call me a Mama's Boy if you must, but I'm reasonably certain that your potential mother-in-law isn't going to be impressed with the spelling errors you'll make on the wedding invitation you'll be sure to send her.
Location: Rockingham