Saturday, December 19, 2009

Do you deserve a song? I'll write you one...tell me why - 26 (Plaistow)

Date: 2009-12-17, 7:31PM EST
Reply To This Post
Hi, Have you recently watched your relationship shrivel up an die?
Have you had your heart broken by a no good rotten man?
Have you been without love for some time now?
Have you secretly prayed that you may someday meet a man who plays guitar? and who would write you a song?
I'm bored tonight, so I have picked up my guitar and am in the mood to write a bit.
I am also recently single, and a little bit bored with the home life lately.
I'm a great catch, but sometimes I lose interest in relationships, I've had a few excellent ones...and a few not so good ones...but now I'm looking for someone really special..
I'm 6'1, 200lbs, in good shape, intelligent, educated, musically inclined and waiting for someone to spike my interest!
Hope to hear from someone....look forward to writing a few songs tonight. Please put "My Song" in the title of the e-mail or it will be deleted (too many spammers out there)

looking for a date for xmas party - 35 (exeter seacoast)

Date: 2009-12-17, 10:07PM EST
Reply To This Post
hi im 35 m from the seacoast looking for a date for a xmas eve party if ur intreasted the be lobsters clams all kinds of food n boooze if u wana go hit me up with pic n age n please put XMAS PARTY in the subject box so i nw its not spam thats hope to here from u sooon

Yeah Right

Looking for married woman - 38 (Manchester)
Date: 2009-12-17, 10:50PM EST
Reply To This Post
So here's the deal. I'm married and committed. No plans on leaving ever. Love my wife. She has a medical condition that doesn't allow her to have sex anymore. She's not very creative when it comes to sex in any way so basically I'm all done. I'm wayyyyy too young to never be able to have sex again. She knows this and after a long discussion we decided on a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I can have someone on the side as long as I find a way to make it happen such that she has no idea. I stay happy and don't leave or resent her, and she lives knowing that I'm not going anywhere. it's too bad because she's athletic, blonde and very beautiful but sex is painful for her and there's no solution at this point.
Me, I'm a good looking white male, in shape, intelligent by my own standards, affectionate, flirtatious, have a sense of humor and love to give as much, if not more, than I receive. I'm looking for a woman who is married or older and divorced who just wants to have fun. No strings, we email, talk, IM, get together on your terms, flirt, joke, laugh and give each other fun positive, healthy quality time together. I'm within federal guidelines for my height and weight, I'm not looking for perfect because I'm not perfect but height/weight proportional will be important for me. Since I'm posting in NH, I have to mention that teeth are a requirement, ALL of them. Don't like smokers, you should probably not be a regular visitor to the methadone clinic or have piercings where they could get caught on something other than a hair brush.
I have no criminal record, belong to no fringe left or right wing radical groups, I use proper English, bathe regularly, have a really big....heart, I brush my teeth more than once a day, I don;t have any pre-existing conditions that could cause me to unexpectedly die in your presence or require medical attention, I have no communicable diseases, am H1N1 free, I am not capable of fathering children any more and have never had a woman call the police on me or take out a restraining order with my name on it.
If you have interest, send me a note. Thanks and may Jesus bless you....just kidding, I'm not very religious either.

Where are all the GOLDDIGGERS? - 47 (nh)

Date: 2009-12-18, 1:32PM EST
Reply To This Post
I am half serious. There has got to be some 20 and 30 somethings out there that are sick of the freaking losers out there. Guys who cannot hold a job, are drinking and using drugs or are going nowhere. I am a great catch. Goodlooking and fun to be with. Very well off. I just hate meeting women that are nice but have alot of baggage and are not attractive. If you want to be pampered and spoiled and step up in life and have what you want email me and I will tell you anything you want to know. I want a younger, full of life, ATTRACTIVE woman. I am not ready to settle. Take a chance and you will not be disappointed. AND, I am not some dirty old man. I am very young looking and young at heart and DESERVE a hot woman.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Seeking unstable woman for drama driven love/hate relationship - 25 (Portland)

Date: 2009-12-15, 1:12PM EST
Reply To This Post
Hi there,

I'm seeking a like-minded woman to share a disasterous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings.

I live in the Portland area, I'm 25 years old, well educated, I hold down a good job and am pretty stable. I'm told I'm fairly good looking. I'm generally caring and very honest.

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we're lucky - both!

You should:
be 20 to 35 years old;
have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
enjoy degrading and dehumanising sex;
have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.
Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:
with nice smiles;
that have larger than average breasts;
who are married or already in unstable relationships;
that drinks to forget; and
who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder - or who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic antidepressants
If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I'm getting excited just writing them!), please don't hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my advert, and do take care.

All the best

ps: This advert is in recognition of the big neon sign on my forehead that everyone else can see except me.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

hooker site - 45 (me)

Date: 2009-12-13, 8:56AM EST
Reply To This Post
this is a hooker site and iam not looking for a hookers iam looking for a real woman that dont need to get payed and iam not looking for sex iam looking for someone to date and go out for dinner or a movie not sex that i have to pay for and iam not in to hookers and i can tell if u are playing games so if you are looking to go on a date and your not a hooker then write back

Saturday, December 12, 2009

no games - 43 (me)

Date: 2009-12-12, 9:00AM EST
Reply To This Post
no games iam for a date not a one night stands and iam not looking for agood peaceof ass just adate and see what happens from there iam 100% real man not a kid iam 43 years old with for kids and they are my life so if you are looking for a one night stand or just a peace of ass dont write to this ad ty

Monday, December 7, 2009


reguarding are there any stable women out there - 45 (fitzwilliam)
Date: 2009-12-06, 6:35PM EST
Reply To This Post
i have recieved wat to many emails from little girls up to the age of 40 you must not have read my posting i said i dont play games and im not going to deal with your head games so dont email me if your going to ask me to go to another site to log in so you can cheack my background and my past after all i am 45 and wont ask dont want to know what went on in your prior life its none of my business if you cant deal with normal life then flag me because im not intrested insecure women do not email me if you are not stable or if your 45 and act like your 17 i am a normal person and worked very hard for what i have and im not intrested in hearing from anyone thats not straight up on life doug

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

chek me out - 47 (kittery)

Date: 2009-11-30, 8:19PM EST
Reply To This Post
hit me up and i will send u a pic thanx

Monday, November 30, 2009

Any ladies like guys with long hair - 35 (nh)

Date: 2009-11-30, 8:48AM EST
Reply To This Post
Any ladies that still like guys with long hair. Feel free to email me. I have pictures.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I am looking for a female companion who could be in my shoe

Married but not Dead - 34 (Bangor Area)
Date: 2009-11-28, 5:03PM EST
Reply To This Post
Going through that phase of life when the physical aspect of marriage fall apart. The wife has taken me as granted and sex is merely a routine than fun. I do have other reasons that kind a made me to seek this kind a relationship.I am looking for a female companion who could be in my shoe, looking for a discreet relationship and excitement in life. I am very open minded and a fun loving guy to be around. I have an athletic body and a lot more to offer. I am open for anything as long its fun and exciting. If you think you are this woman, I'll accept your respond with an open mind. Please type in the word UMAINE in the subject of the email so I know your real. Hope to hear from you soon.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Shannanagans of milford tonight - 26 (Milford)

Date: 2009-11-27, 6:41PM EST
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Hey there Im the the guy who wants to have fun and what a better way to do it and find someone who enjoys the same I figure this, come on down to shananagans of milford around 9-9:30 tonight for kariokiee, trust me you wont miss me I'll be they guy to sing old school rock and roll and be dancing lol so yea if you'd like to have a fun nioght and be looking to get to know a guy and see the fun loving side come on down tonight-??? hope to see you there feel free to intriduce yourself toi me Im not shy look for me lol :) or hit me up at milla_tym yah who c o m send me yours in a letter and a pic and i will as well hehe hope you all had a Hap-E- Turkey Day---Gobble gobble

Ten million dollar girl wanted.... - 34 (NH and RI)

Date: 2009-11-27, 8:13PM EST
Reply To This Post
I figure a 10 million dollar girl would be a good investment, especially since most gals I meet today are worth all of about $.02. One thing I've discovered lately is that no matter how bad a girl is there's always somebody that will put up with them and they know it, especially if they're pretty. Not me,, life's too short......No, I'm not 34, but I have posted a very recent picture. I'm looking for an attractive, trim, good nature d, earthy, sensual and spiritual gal, 20’s thru 30’s, with a little Bohemian side to her who would love an LTR with a very smart, deep and unusual guy. I’m into doing things with the mind, the hands and the heart. I want to keep a simple home in the country that’s dept free but to do many, many cool and interesting things, things that are fun as well as things that are profound. Sexuality will be a big part of that as well as pushing the boundaries of the mind and soul. Who needs TV?? I’m well endowed with long endurance and you need to be very comfortable around a guys manhood. Drop me a note!

Am I really that repulsive? - 48 (Maine)

Date: 2009-11-27, 4:16PM EST
Reply To This Post
I know it seams like Im complaining. Im not trying to but Im a bit confussed. I know I must be very repulsive. Im just not sure why. I know Im butt ugly. But so are a lot of people who still manage to get dates. I know Im not the smartes man in Maine. But I dont think Im the dummbest either. Either way I seam to be very good at repeling woman. I even seam to creep them out. I dont meen to, it just happens.


Are you pregnant and lonely? - 34 (lowell Ma)
Date: 2009-11-27, 11:34AM EST
Reply To This Post
I know this a wierd question. I konw some people make mistakes and don't mean to get pregnant. Are you alone and expecting? Im looking for someone who seeks the physical aspects of pregnancy. Im not looking to take over the responsibility. Call it what you will. If you are hit me up. If you are for real and your read my post please put "MUSE UPRISING" in the subject line.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Seeking Living Companion - 27 (S-W. NH)

Date: 2009-11-22, 10:17AM EST
Reply To This Post
So this is it. I've finally saved up enough money to get started at living on my own. I'm thinking of finding the right person to be with, be happy, and at the same time lighten some of the financial burden. No, I'm not looking to jump into a new life right away. Developing a relationship will- of course- take time. However, you know now that I am committed, and ready to make the big move. I am loyal, honest, and decent looking. Your pic will get mine. We'll exchange a few emails back and forth, and then if you seem cool, I will take you out to dinner and we can go from there. All personalities, shapes and sizes may apply... and if you don't send a picture, I will not ignore you. I understand that it's risky sending pictures to strangers.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Nice Rich guy looking for a date - 27 (Manchester)

Date: 2009-11-17, 9:21PM EST
Reply To This Post
So please let me know, about you with a picture.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I'm bored O.K! Why else would I be on craigs list? - 53 (Oxford/maine)

Date: 2009-11-17, 1:45PM EST
Reply To This Post
If you live in or near to Oxford county Maine and are a single female please help me to be unbored--- I will be eternally grateful.

Putting the cart before the horse... - 38 (Seacoast)

Date: 2009-11-17, 1:49PM EST
Just thought I'd go out on a limb, but I wanted to see if any woman out there, after a thorough discussion and a few weeks or months -- no hurry -- might consider having a kid with me while we made money with a baby blog and I worked my regular job too.

Monday, November 16, 2009

A servant for you - 40

Date: 2009-11-16, 1:30PM EST
Hi! I am a male that would love to work for you in a CFNM (clothed female naked male) situation. I am here to offer you the service of doing your housework, repairs or other similair tasks. I will thoroughly clean, vacuum, dust, scrub floors, clean bathrooms, iron your clothes, etc.. I can fix and repair most computers and can do most handyman work. You can sit back, put your feet up and relax as I work for you. I will serve you a drink or food, all you have to do is ask.
I am 6’1” in shape, light brown hair, hazel eyes. I am also well mannered, educated, and easy going. I am very safe and discreet. I have a great sense of humor so I hope this can be something fun you can do.
No strings attached. No physical or sexual contact is expected or required from you other than I work naked, you remain fully clothed.
After my work is done and you feel I have done a good job,.. you can decide if I deserve to masturbate infront of you. When I leave, and you will be left with a bunch of chores you don't have to do now. More time for you to relax, and do whatever you want to do, read a book, visit friends, whatever your happy doing.
:) Hope to hear from you.
Location: nashua

Friday, November 13, 2009

He's no land whale

average guy seeks same in women - 29 (raymond)
Date: 2009-11-12, 12:51PM EST
Reply To This Post
i am a little down on my luck both in love and career and i am trying to fix that now. i am not in the greatest shape but i am not a land whale either. i like to read, don't smoke, drink only occasionally, i like to go out with my friends. when it comes to dating i am a traditionalist you know dinner and a movie, i like sports but i am not that into them. would love to meet a good conversationalist. preferably someone between the ages of 25-35. thanks for reading pls send msg if you are interested. maybe we will talk.

want revenge sex ?? - 49

Date: 2009-11-12, 11:00PM EST
SEND HIM A PICTURE OF IT .......if you really want to get him..i can bring a friend
Location: pembroke

i realy like anamals

looking for a good women - 38
Date: 2009-11-12, 11:58PM EST
im looking for a women that is honest and loveing and cares aboute the people in her life.if thats not you thanks for looking but find someone diferent. a litle aboute me- my gramer sucks. i havent been in a real relationship in a long time aboute five not an angel and ive been in alot of trouble most of my life but im realy trying to be a good famly is very important to me and i would like someone who has the same famly valuse.i like to goto the beach,out to eat,sit at home and watch a smoker and ill probably never quit dont do drugs.i realy like anamals and kids.looks are not super important to me but im not atracted to big girls but love a little bit of chunkynes,you dont have to be chunky though. i love a women who looks good in high heels and thats my bigest atraction to a women.i have a good job and make decent money as an autotechnician i hate to work but it has to be life is pretty boring write now with absulutly no love in it and im getting pretty lonely.well im not going to keep going on with my sad story if there are any good women left i hope to here from you soon.thanks for looking. john....... please send pics!
Location: manchester


hugs and kisses - 47
Date: 2009-11-13, 4:00PM EST
my name is michael. i am 47 years old.i have brown hair blue eyes 5 ft.9 in tall weigh in at arouind 190. I like to drink and dance fish golf beach drive camp travel but most of all what really turns my world around is loving you. hurry and let me no about yourselves and send some pics if u can and i will let you know if were compatible or not.CAPRICORN loving warm and very sensitive. hope to hear from you asap.thank you.bye 4 now.
Location: seacoast

tired of finishing last - 32

Date: 2009-11-13, 2:42PM EST
tired of finishing last because swimming through that B S im 32 yrs 170 lbs told i a catch but always finding the wrong woman.brown eyes and to snowboard and mt bike.I` dont what to write i never done this before so you questions i got the answer.So hope to hear from a couple of nice girls take care
Location: southern nh

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Single Idependent Overall Super Nice guy Looking for You cum see me??? - 41
Date: 2009-11-10, 8:08AM EST
Hello Ladies how are you was just wondering if there is any Women out there who could use some attention that is probally well deserved. I'm very good with my hands among other things, maybe some stress relief after a long day at work. Maybe you just want to talk for a while to somebody that can hold a conversation with, let your hair down ladies and relax for a bit .......
Here is a little information about me overall nice Single infit employed dd free non smoker dont bar hop dont like them kind of a stay at home guy, worked all my life never took a hand out was determined to do it on my own now just want to spend some time with a very nice Lady who knows what she wants.
If this at all intrieges you drop me a line maybe we'll swap a pic or to and see where it go's and believe me I'm Real not like thes other adds here..
So lets do this see where it goes thanks for reading .......
Location: Newport Sunappee area

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Fucking Board!! - 27

Date: 2009-11-05, 9:43PM EST
I’m really fucking board, my girlfriend is sick, and I’m in the house. It’s too late to try and hang out with any of my friends does anyone want to hang out! Cold wet motorcycle ride? Go four wheeling? Go to the beach? Skiball? Whatever just get the hell out of the house with a stranger for a couple hours?
Location: Hampton

Hi question for you all - 47

Date: 2009-11-06, 6:17PM EST
Hi there, ..I tried this once before about 7 months ago and got 2 responses….both of them telling me that I was an A**hole because I smoked and that was too bad the rest of it (honesty, faithful, sense of humor, etc sounded pretty good)…..But was null and void because I smoked …So they gave pity upon me…and wished me well (well maybe not in so many words and mot very kindly either lol)…..So I, being ,not so dumb and all..I got on the patch an quit smoking for a while (2 days 7 hrs and 45 minutes (give or take a few) )…now I smoke even more .. oh by the way …thank you the 2 of you if you read this… & to make matters worse I like to drink on weekends and lounge out by the pool , swim in it rain or shine (there are times the rain part is actually kind of nice when rain and water are warmer than the air =) .. (so I am not that sick) and I like to have BBQ’s and a fire in the Pit. Other times watch a good movie or show or even better a good concert DVD (again I’M sorry but I like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, scorpions, etc, …I play guitar and I like their sound and style) so now that I have made most of you hit the back button to go to the next post …before you do …let me say thank you for reading=) Good luck in your search=) and get back to me if you might be curious…am I an
A) Idiot
B) Comedian
C) All of the above
D) Neither of the above
E) Other (Please explain)
F) Oh ya almost forgot…lol an A**hole
But in all seriousness have a great Day
P.S if you do respond and you don’t want me to respond back to you.. just say that at the end of your response and I will read then delete no matter what you say (unless what you say is just too funny to pass up then I will respond and give you “Kudos” )…and if your bold enough by all means please send a picture Oh and another thing I am really not interested in dating sites, or verification sites, or scams of some kind, though I know some of you will waste your time trying to send me them anyways lol …in fact I will probably get way more of them than I do real responses please put your answer A thru F in the subject line when responding so I know that you are real =) Again have a great day…
Location: Hudson

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Looking for a gorgeous nymphomaniac with really low standards - 42

Date: 2009-11-05, 11:48AM EST
Well no, not really. She has to have high standards.
I just wanted you to read my post and it looks like it worked.
And if this post offends you, then feel free to skip me and GO ON TO THE NEXT POST!
By the way, I’m sure the guy in the next post is looking for a gorgeous nymphomaniac too but he’s not saying so. At least I’m honest.
Here’s the deal. I’m having trouble finding a woman around my age (give or take 5 years or so). Why? Well because women SAY they want a ‘nice guy’ BUT they daydream about themselves with a ‘BAD BOY’. (If you’re 22 years old and have no idea what I‘m talking about, just wait until you’re a little older. You will!)
Let’s play out that little ‘BAD BOY’ fantasy, shall we? You find your ‘BAD BOY’ and he’s a lean, mean, 8” f*cking machine. He’s great, just what you’ve dreamed about!
You only wish he had all his own teeth.
And his own hair.
And a job.
But he drives a soupped-up ‘68 camaro convertible that’s a blast to ride in! Too bad the floor is rotted out on the passenger side and you always get soaked when he drives thru puddles. That, and he has to borrow gas money from you and you never get it back. Why? HE HAS NO JOB! And what about all that other money he’s borrowed from you, promising that he’ll pay you back as soon as he’s found a job? Has he? Well? Oh, but he’s so sweet (when he’s sober and he remembers to brush his teeth).
Does all this compensate for the fact that he can hardly write, he smells, and even worse, he farts during sex?!?
OK, don’t answer that, not yet. Think about this…
I can be your ‘nice’ bad boy. I can be your lean, mean machine. And I have my own teeth and hair and a great job! But wait, there’s more. I have a vicious sense of humor, and I floss! I’m (somewhat) housebroken but I still have enough devil in me to keep you on your toes.
All that, and I don’t fart during sex!
OK, OK. I don’t have a ’68 camaro but my truck has a solid floor and (whoo-hoo) heat! It even passed inspection without me having to bribe anyone!
All I ask of you is that you have a wicked sense of humor (can you make fun of a fat, I mean HUGE, guy that somehow shoehorned himself into a tiny Toyota prious, driving down the highway?), that you not take life too seriously (it’s not permanent you know, enjoy it while you can), and that you be height/weight proportionate (ie.You have a waist smaller than your boobs and hips).
Oh, and bonus points for being a gorgeous nymphomaniac.
Interested? There’s 3 simple rules;
1) I’m serious, you be serious;
2) Put something witty in your subject line so I can tell you aren’t spam. Maybe something about whipped cream. Or handcuffs. Or both!
3) Do not (I repeat, do not!) email me with a one liner ‘so tell me about yourself’. Hellooooo!! If you don’t already know what makes me tick, I can’t help you. Why don’t you tell ME about YOURSELF?
4) (Did I say three rules? I meant four!) Please include a photo. Again, so I can tell you aren’t spam.
OK, with that said, I promise to answer every email that looks like it didn’t come from the FBI. Thanks!
Location: near Milford NH

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Date: 2009-11-02, 9:12PM EST
Handsome black man, slender Hare seeking cute little bunny, romantic and slender to share my carrots with. Let's hop all over town and have some good times and have a hare-raising experience. If you like to lay in clover and nibble, a plus :-).Get back to me with a recent picture and a brief message.Thanks!
Location: NH

Yes, I'm serious...are you? - 24

Date: 2009-11-04, 6:32AM EST
Hello. I'm 24, autistic, I have panic attacks, I smoke and have been for a long time. I have bad teeth and can't taste and smell very well. I'm hoping you're not too much on looks and can see that even the ugly have hearts. I'm 6ft tall and 145lbs. I want to weigh 160, because some say I look gaunt. I love to sing in the car, I'm tone deaf anywhere else. I listen to hardcore, metal, screamo...that kind of stuff. I would prefer you have an interest in my music, as I do not like country and especially do not like derogatory gangster rap. An interest in art, music or winter activities is excellent. If you're some scene girl or even emo for that matter, you've got a foot in the door. I enjoy small dates, I enjoy sitting at home just as much. Coffee is a major part of my life, as well as meat. So if you're a vegetarian or that other kind, you'll probably end up hating me. I love playing videogames as all boys do. Please be okay with this. I am not looking for sex. I want to meet someone, go on a few dates, then see where we're at. Snuggling is okay. ALSO Please stop sending bullsh*t e-mails where I have to sign-up at some web site or give my credit card information. That's completely f*cking stupid and a waste of my time. People can converse via e-mail. Thank you and have an amazing day.
Location: Southern, NH

"This is my last post" - 36

Date: 2009-11-04, 4:04PM EST
Hey ladies how are you? Heres the deal I am divorced,not working right now,back home with mom and dad, no licence and yes I have a past and so dont you so what ! I am not a rapist or a child molester, but I do have an extensive criminal background I made alot of mistakes when I was younger thats what makes me stronger today. I am looking for the right one I dont play games life is to short. So I like you thin, good looking and out doors type of woman. I smoke drinks from time to time I have a six year old daughter a brutal ex wife that I am still battling in court so its fair to say i have some baggage if you want to start as friends and let it grow then lets do this without all the B/S.
Location: Southern NH

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Why is it so diffacult to find a Awnest, Decent Woman??? - 27

Date: 2009-11-01, 2:11PM EST
Hey its me RJ Again, I Keep Posting these ads and all I get is Bots and Hoes, what is wrong with this world?? I wounder if any one takes me for real?? Or if their not attracted to me or something like that ???
Ok O Well Then I'll Try Again Im 27 yrs old, White, pic's, not fat and healthy 6'0 Blond blues med built 165lbs Clean guy irish/american guy I Like To sky dive, Bungee Jump, Race Stock Cars, Ski/Board, water sports, I Love FootBall, GO PATS!!! Also I am a huge Yankees Fan too "We're In The World Series BABY!!!" , Awnestly I would go out a Sox fan even know I despize them but its the oldest rivalery in Base ball history and it would make it fun at games too, love to hate relationship lol but in a good way!! Like Hockey but its not what it used to be unfort. As far as Music, Im in to Rock/Rap/Alt. not a counrty Fan at all. I work for myself as a auto mechanic, body work, Car sales what ever makes a dollar, I also am a construction buff too I dont make great money, cause its been really slow as of late peoples tight on money and such "Ecconamie" go figure lol And yes,"dont have a lic for 19 more months"Its all paid just waiting out my time, But I dont exspect my g/f to drive me every where, I got rides and a Thumb lol so if u cant deal with this dont write back please, it would be really nice if a girl actaully read my ads, instead of u didnt say that in ur ad, B.S. Its here in black and white.
Typa girl Im looking for? I need a girl that has her head on her shoulders, I dont care if u have a kid but not 5 lol Im not rich and i cant support that many. I would like a girl that isnt a whore, cheater, liar, or any of the sort. Ive had my fill and it breaks my heart to think there isnt any one out there for me :( Money really doesnt matter to me so if u dont have much and think u have a chance,well by all means reply. I want a firey, passionate, warm & Caring woman that knows one thing about life "SHIT HAPPENS" all to often as Ive found so far. Im not really in to bigger women, look im 165lbs soken wet and i'd like to keep with in those ranges, not superfical but realistic. Ive Never had a complant in the bed room life, Im kinda a freak I like new things, Im not looking just for sex, or one nighters, No other men involed i dont share at all, I'm a big enough man i dont think any woman would be unhappy thats what i will tell u, lol Im sick of being hert and abused in many ways, I dont deserve that kinda punishment, I can only take so much and it really kills me inside to think there isnt one girl out there for me?? Im a really funny, caring, compassionate guy so i just want a girl that feels the same, Like i said i my other ads, IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK??? So if this sounds good? Write Me Back if u like, all i got is time on my hands
Thanks RJ
Remember Looks and money and bling-bling isnt every thing as much as people like to think it is, thats what makes this world Evil....
Location: Seacoast,Northwood,NH

Friday, October 30, 2009

need my beg woman in my arms - 51 (soth nh)

Date: 2009-10-28, 12:06PM EDT
i am looking for my sweet beg woman i am 51 years old and need a good woman to come home to for the rest of my live can you give me the love that i need i will give it to you for the rest of your life i swear i will never fight with you i will just love you moor then you know i will cook for and hand feed you and pamper you that is the way a good man treets a woman hit me back
Location: soth nh

Seeking Mentally Ill high school drop-out - 30

Date: 2009-10-28, 7:25PM EDT
I am obviously not looking for the right person because I can never find the perfect girl for me. They all seem so normal and I can never find a girl that is willing to commit. I am going to compile a list of requirements the girl must meet before I will even consider dating them.
1. Must be mentally ill
2. Jobless
3. living with parents/homeless
4. has psycho ex
5. at least 20,000 in debt
6. high school drop out
7. humorless
8. boring
9. no sex drive
10. no friends
I guess the list is shorter then I thought> If you meet these requirements please feel free to email me. If you don’t meet them, I am sorry but we will not work out.
Location: Concord, NH

Still Awesome, Still Waiting - 34

Date: 2009-10-29, 2:12PM EDT
To whom it may concern: Just because nobody will hire me, doesn't mean I'm not awesome. I can still operate in a very awesome fashion. I will help out. I will help you carry in your groceries, install your printer, and alphabetize your dvds/cds. When necessary, if all goes well and conditions are at their most optimal awesomeness, I will even have sex with you. So you see, someone doesn't have to have a job to be considered awesome, wouldn't you agree? More reasons why I'm awesome:
-I can kiss without getting drool on you
-I have most local dollar menus memorized
-Never once has anyone ever complained about me being too big in bed
-I whistle while I work, but I don't work, so you won't have to deal with me whistling all the time -I rarely belch
-One time I taught a bird to fly
-I'm great at giving back/butt massages
-In the middle of sex, I sometimes get disorientated, and call out my own name
-I can sing like a dying cat
-Sometimes I can comprehend poetry
-I can promise you that I will almost always say bless you when you sneeze
-I can get your bra off in seven to ten minutes flat, if you help me
-Last night I dreamed somebody loved me
-I have a way of making people feel valued
-On occasion, I have fallen in love really really fast, I have the restraining orders to prove it
-I can provide references upon request
-My hugs are have been known to crack backs
-I went to college and made a real big debt
-I can pee sitting down
-When cornered by old people, I'm polite and listen to their incoherent stories
-I'm starting to like reggae
-Coffee makes me have to poop -
I'm thankful for the men and women serving in our military
-I can play scrabble really good
-When I was a wee lad, I could moonwalk with the best of them
-If you want me to teach you how to catch crayfish I will
-I've lived in 3 states that start with "New"
-I don't discriminate based on race, only poor grammar
-My favorite president would have to be Johnson, I love my Johnson!
-I don't mind letting you be on top
Location: here

Two words that don't belong in the same post "TGIF" (restaurant) & "sexy"

Halloween week lets meet - 35
Date: 2009-10-29, 4:39PM EDT
Hey how’s it going? I’m 5’11” 190lbs clean cut and fit male I’ve been posting a little bit this week and so far haven’t found anyone that has time or that I’m thought I’d try it again. I’m not into games or drama I’m 100% up front. I am divorced and I’m a little picky:) So don’t be afraid to hit me up, ya never know. I’m pretty laid back ,I am a nice guy but also can be the bad boy you’re looking for. If real and serious heading out tonight to tgif for there party come by lets have a drink and chat. I will be the sexy Pirate.
Location: Manchester

Blond Heir

looking to get to know you - 31
Date: 2009-10-29, 8:59PM EDT
well here gos I'm a Christin man how love my church and music.... hold on lets do this a nether way (goods) tall, 6ft 1in blond heir ,super blue eyes, strong , hard working yes i have a job , kind of a handy man i can fix things , i like to be helpful, grate dad to my two kids, love music yes i can sing and i play guitar well i try, i have my own car, and place to live ,i love the out doors,but i also like to watch a good movie and I'm a hopeless romantic love walks on the beach or in the snow,a picnics on the side of a river or at a lake, but we can talk about that later, i m a kind hearted loving guy i love to laugh and to have fun being silly i am in to guy stuff cars fishing ext to give an over view of how i am .........OK the(not so good) first I'm kind of a big guy not super big but i am working on losing 75 pounds i could use a beautiful women to help motivate i drive a grandpa car as of now but hope to buy a truck soon but we'll see,in closing I'm looking for a women how thinks would like a men like me o there is one more thing PLEASE SEND A PIC if you cant send on craigslist ask for email and ill give it to you so you can send direct
Location: Rochester NH

"Draped"? Short for date raped?

hair cut for massage - 46
Date: 2009-10-30, 7:33AM EDT
Hi all i am a 46 male i have been layed off and in need of a hair cut willing to trade for a great massage i am very good at it u will be draped plz send pic if you can i will return one thanks to all D
Location: wilton area

Decease Free

Date: 2009-10-30, 6:51PM EDT

Thursday, October 29, 2009


Date: 2009-10-28, 5:21AM EDT


Date: 2009-10-28, 7:13AM EDT
Location: SEACOAST


Date: 2009-10-28, 10:04AM EDT
Tall long haired biker type seeks sexy lady for intense halloween party! Must be able to party deep into night. I will buy the costume if needed! Hit me up with interest. B

Monday, October 19, 2009


Any women into dogs? - 25
Date: 2009-10-18, 10:15PM EDT
I'm looking for an open minded woman to see where things go. Hit me up if this sounds like you.
Location: Plymouth

Normal Guy Longs for Female Friendship Only Before we Join Our Souls - 47

Date: 2009-10-19, 2:56PM EDT
I am a very nice man. Do not smoke, do not drink, do not use drugs and try to be a gentle loving person. I am a single man. Love my books, love to paint in oils and watercolors, I have made my meager living at writing. I am a senior writer at an established company. But, I am longing for a slim or slender female that likes the ocean, woods, and virgin forest of the North Country. I hope to find a female under 130 lbs. And under 5'0 tall. Too find such a rare female is a mirracle indeed. I know that this is so rare in this United States that I feel like a jerk. So, all Asian females normally semi pretty females please I beg respond to my ad. Thank You so Much, Mike
Location: Nashua and Tyngsboroug for now

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

crossing the lines - 40

Date: 2009-10-13, 11:15AM EDT
Well its bad enough that im putting my body pictures on here i am not about to show my face so don't even ask, just in case my boss' might be on here...who knows? huh unless you are looking for real relationship, honestly i want someone who wants me for me instead of just my body so here goes, first of all i have never dated outside of my race bu thats cool so i ain't tripping about that , skin color don't matter as long as you are clean and know how to treat a brother thats all i ask, no cheaters or haters,or broke ass women who beg all the time ... i would like to see what all the fuss is about when brothers date white, Indian and asain so its all good, anyway im blessed down there as you can see, but im tired of being used for my dick alone. so fuk those sisters with all that drama , i ain't with that shit, besides i like older women anyway cause when they love you its real and they dont play games. so if you real and want a good man with good dick holla at me for real..." five,0,xxx,three,xxx,one,0,xxx,two,eight ...."my name is dee. i live in mass but come to Hampshire all the time
Location: live free state

Monday, October 5, 2009

Carl Does Computers

Seeking a romantic partner! (New Hampshire)
Date: 2009-10-05, 1:25AM EDT
I have placed this post before and received a couple of good replies but mostly junk. I have heard from perverts and people too ignorant to sign their email. Now I hope I hear from someone special.
I am seeking a romantic partner! I am cuddly, affectionate, romantic, and passionate.
I am Carl, a writer who lives in New Hampshire.
I am 6 feet tall, longish dark brown hair, beard, hazel eyes, and medium build.
I am reasonably attractive, not beautiful and not ugly.
I am sincere, sensitive, had a good sense of humor, and am honest.
I love to make love (above all else), cuddle (just about above all else), read (I read 3-4 hours a night), do email, talk online with friends, do computers, hike, nature, mythology, and lots of other stuff.
I am seeking someone who is honest but not to the point of hurting someone, sensitive, romantic, affectionate, and passionate.
If you like this post, please send me a nice email, not a one-liner, and sign your name. I get creeps from Craigslist who send me one-liners and don't sign their name. Such emails will just be deleted.
I am really looking forward to hearing from you and to getting to know you! Please get back to me soon!
Hugs, Carl
Location: New Hampshire

Coffee or Lunch Today - 37

Date: 2009-10-05, 10:12AM EDT
Hi, Bored working from home and was curious to see if anyone out there would like to take some time today and Have lunch or coffee today and maybe kiss Passionately if the chemistry is I'm a normal attractive guy, 5'11, 200#'s with brown hair and blue eyes. Attach a pic and I'll send you one in return. Thank you and hope to hear from you soon.
Location: So. NH

who is gone win the he devil or the she or

Date: 2009-10-05, 11:48AM EDT
Location: backed up

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Kinky Side... But Honest & Real - 44

Date: 2009-10-03, 5:44PM EDT
First of all I am straight as an arrow and looking for an LTR with a normal women. Tired of the bar scenes and so I thought I would give this a try. I enjoy doing almost anything outdoors. My one weakness is sneakers..... Mainly I find women wearing sneakers a huge turn on. Not really sure why, but i do. I have got a lot of of sneakers in a size 7.5 & 8, Keds, Converse, Tretorns, .... If your ok with this drop me a line and maybe we can chat. Figured it can't hurt to be honest...can it? Plus I do know how to treat a women and I'm not into playing head games at all. So I know your real and not spam type in your favorite color in the subject box please.
Location: Southern, NH

Crap Smeller

next! - 53 (so/nh)
Date: 2009-10-02, 11:30PM EDT
I have read alot of these stupid things on craigslist, and any other personnal thing you can think of! And all I see and hear is women wanting the perfect man to show up with flowers and just sweep them off there feet. Well ladies it won't happen. If you want look deep inside and find the right person ask, don't dream. Me no I am not your ex husband or anything ex in your life, but if you want to know about my future! then maybe we can talk... I too am not into head games so I can give and recieve smoke with the best of them! I can smell crap with my crap smeller.! I want someone also to live the rest of my life with! Just let me know with no crap! I am a loving person and want more for my life too!
Location: so/nh

Ladies, are you humans? - 35

Date: 2009-10-03, 12:04PM EDT
I received several e-mails, thanks. I think, I need to clarify two things: 1. I am straight. 2. I am not looking for a paid love. I am not that desperate yet. I am trying to find a woman with similar ideas. Thanks.
Hi! I am a good-looking, gentle, sexy, and smart 35 year old guy with a good sense of humor. I am self-supporting (working full-time). I am straight. I do not drink, do not smoke, and do not do drugs. I am healthy and well educated. Not slim and not fat. I am real and sane. In short, I am a normal human being (although, way above an average one). My wife is a good friend who prefers friendship-like relations in marriage. That is, going out, on parties, shopping, or other entertainments is the primary activity while sex is the secondary activity or, better, excluded at all (“I’m having headache”, “I’m tired”, “My favorite serial on TV now”, etc.). I start thinking that the peak of sexual harmony between man and woman is to have headache simultaneously. Last time when she initiated sex was just before I married her 15 years ago. Ladies, what is wrong with you? Is there anyone out there thinking alike? Don’t you feel a natural human demand in a normal sexual life at all? Ladies, are you humans? So, I am looking for a pretty woman, better single (single moms, divorced, etc.) or in the same situation as I, for long term relationships (preferably), mostly to have good sex together. If someone has similar ideas, please, e-mail me.
Location: NH, Upper Valley

Looking for college girls who want to walk on the wild side - 35

Date: 2009-10-03, 3:11PM EDT
ME: Think Tatoos, harley, scruff, beer, criminal record, naughty, hair pulling, ass slapping, fine line between love and hate, handcuffs, late nights.
You: Looking for something that has been missing in your life. Living! Email me and let me know how we should spend out first adventure. (picture a plus)
Location: Keene

Got arrested, Goin to Jail, want to marry so I can hve conjugal visits - 37

Date: 2009-10-03, 3:02PM EDT
I got popped this week and it looks like I am going to have to do a little stretch in the pen. I have heard that if I am married I can have a woman come and visit me in the slammer so I would like to do this quickly. A little about me. I do not like long walks in the park. I do like Harleys and toplessness. I am not a good listener but also do not snore. No drama here just good time and good rides. What am I looking for? You should not want any kids. Preferably your tubes would be tied. I hate protection (we both know it feel better without it). You should be flexible and limber. Experimental is good but if you describe yourself as something like a "furrie" that is bad. Hit me up. I would like to try it before I buy it and I only have about a month to get this done. Pictures a plus. Looking forward to hearing from you.
Location: Walpole

looking for a date two night - 32

Date: 2009-10-03, 3:49PM EDT
i am corey and looking for a wonman to go out two night if you or up for good time lot me no asp
Location: manchester

Friday, October 2, 2009

You threw your lit cigarette at my face outside Starbucks - 30

Date: 2009-09-30, 11:02PM EDT
I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop and chat --- I was in such a rush to do my errands --- but you too seemed to be in a giant rush to run inside and grab your extra-whip venti white chocolate mocha. You were in such a hurry that even after your friend pointed out how close your cig came to burning my face, you didn't have time to say "sorry" or "excuse me." Anyway, I just wanted to write to let you know how much I love it when Big Beautiful Women wear pajama pants/tee-shirt ensembles out in public. It conveys a postmodern "I've totally given up on life" attitude that so many men find intoxicating. Additionally, your hair was exquisite. I can tell that your life is so full of fun and adventure that you don't even have time to buy a bottle of Prell, but there's nothing more exciting than a woman on the go. Listen, I'm sure you have far too many male suitors for you to even consider reading Craigslist missed connections, but on the off chance that you see this and you haven't been felled by heart disease or any of the myriad cancers you're courting ... I'd love to take you and your slightly less-hot friend to dinner. We'll have all the things you love! I envision beginning with some wings, then moving on to a few chicken parms, some buckets of General Tso's, even more buckets of the Colonel's extra-crispy, a jalapeno-popper palate cleanser, followed by approximately 27 stuffed-crust pizzas, as many McDonald's #2 value meals as you can eat before you get bored, and finally a jaunt to Cheesecake Factory for dessert. And at the end of the night, if you're still hungry (no doubt about that) and feeling in the mood (fingers crossed!), we can end with some edible underwear and a Colt 45 fountain. Looking forward to hearing from you!
Location: New Hampshire

I just thought you should know ..... - 48

Date: 2009-09-30, 9:15PM EDT
I just thought you should know ..... I read your ad. I saw your pictures. Seriously. You really are a very attractive female. Little doubt you're one heck of a catch. I love the fact that you are a self-proclaimed "intlectual" with "a philisophical" side. I really admire the energy you have and think it's terrific that you're "constintly" on the go. I thought it was great that we share a common interest in travel. "Burmuda" really is a fantastic place to visit with seemingly endless "senic" beauty. Unfortunately, you're a lousy speller and strike me as a complete moron. Call me a Mama's Boy if you must, but I'm reasonably certain that your potential mother-in-law isn't going to be impressed with the spelling errors you'll make on the wedding invitation you'll be sure to send her.
Location: Rockingham

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Not Looking For Special Sneekers

looking to meet someone fun tonight - 28 (portsmouth to concord)
Date: 2009-09-25, 7:03PM EDT
Hello, I was kind of stood up tonight, I'd been chatting back and forth with someone I met through here this week and was looking forward to meeting up with her tonight. She very nicely emaild me today to cancel due to her meeting someone else reciently. I figured I take a proactive approach and actually post for onec, instead of just looking. I'm 28, decent looking to say the least, if you like shorter, stalkier builds. I'm pretty laid back, jeans, tee shirt/ polo shirt, and sneekers type of guy. I like it when a girl looks comfortable, tank top, jeans, and sneekers she clearly wears reguarly, not special sneekers she has to go with her outfit. I'm up for just about anything, weather it be going to a bar or club, or something else. Not really into movies though, I'm pretty busy, and don't want to spend one of my few nights off sitting in a theater for two hours. I can't say I'm looking for a relationship, just someone to hangout with, and have a good time. It's been a LONG WEEK!! If something comes of it, great, but that's not why I'm doing this at this point. I'm pretty centrally located, and am willing to travel anywhere from Concord to Portsmouth, or beyond if you have something good in mind. Not to seem shallow, but I'm more attracted shorter girls, around my age or younger, also smaller builds, curveys ok, but definatly a small build. These aren't requirements, more like preferances, if you do reply please attach a picture, I'll do the same in return. I'd of included one, but to be honest, I'm kindof embarrased to be doing this and don't want anyone I know to find out.

Hope to hear from you!! If not,,, happy hunting!

Location: portsmouth to concord

Friday, September 25, 2009

This guy is in denial...

It's only wrestling :)
Date: 2009-09-24, 8:54PM EDT
I hate working out and try to find other ways to stay in shape. Not sure where to post this so I thought I'd start here. Long ago I used to wrestle, long ago. With winter setting in, there's no more swimming, etc; so I once again start to think about wrestling, hitch is, I've always wanted to wrestle like the greeks, butt naked and covered in oil. Throw a sheet of plastic down and wrestle a guy for 45min or so. I've browsed the menlookingmen section, and get the feeling there are too many crazies out there. I'm local, 5 kids, professional, connected to the community, etc. Can't take the risk. So I'm hoping that there might be a woman out there that might know another guy who might, or would love to watch her spouse get naked and wrestle. This is not a sideways sex thing. This is a get naked, covered in oil, and wrestle. Figure by the time we're done, we'll be too tired for hankypanky. Why reach out here? Well, from my experience women keep things safe. So there you have it. Oh, 6', 185, lightly haired, told I'm good looking, and if it matters, well equipped.

Seeking very large breasted curvy/bbw sweetheart - m4w - 35 (Nashua)

Date: 2009-09-25, 5:48PM EDT
** I gather that CL is not the most friendly place towards bbw women in general and I don't want to insult anyone so I hope it's ok to be looking for someone very specifically..**

I am a true HUGE breast lover (5-8, 35, swm, nice build, good job) and am looking to meet and date a nice woman who's been royally blessed by the boob fairy. I totally love bbw women and not shying away from curves but have this thing for women with 'ginormous' large breasts, the ones considered huge even for bbw standards, like in the women in the pictures?

Looking to be with an appreciative and handsome and outgoing, slight mischievous but always respectful man? Totally drop me a note!

Location: Nashua

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Spell Check, Please

Date: 2009-09-24, 12:24PM EDT

Location: RYE NH

Gag Me Witherspoon

Fun,smart,quirky...thats me! - 34
Date: 2009-09-23, 10:04AM EDT
The names abilio people just call me bill , let me tell you about myself, im a goofy creative person who comes up with corny ideas like this one I thought up, remember that old Reeses commercial,How do you eat your Reeses? Well I came up with my own tv ad for it . Have Reese Witherspoon(the actress) holding a large spoon and then say,¨ How do you eat your Reeses?Witherspoon! Get it !! well I told you it was corny lol. Anyways my other goofy idea which is much better and if I have the time I would like to get it published is my own cartoon, I call it Violent Violet the Crayon gone bad. It's a cross between the sopranos and flinstones . In my cartoon emotions represent the colors of the crayons I have characters such as green envy ,purple passion(violent violets girlfriend) anger management(he's the red crayon) etc. My first episode is titled dare to draw first blood.

Oh heres some more bad jokes I created, what did judge judy say after screwing the jury? It's a well-hung jury! stupid . Okay heres another . I work in a pharmacy so one day I was asked to do a delivery for mr. Johnson. So I grabbed his prescriptions and headed down to his apartment. I knocked on his door and a 70-year old senior citizen answers the door ,"Mr.Johnson", I say,heres your prescriptions,¨ Mr.Johnson replies , thanks sonny boy¨ he grabs the bag peeks in the bag and says,¨ hey young man wheres my Viagra prescription?,cant you people do anything right, Hows a guy like myself suppose to do for fun besides playing bingo and doing crosswords all day? So I say ,¨ Sorry about that Mr.Johnson , no hard feelings tonight¨ laugh track here . Some more one liners that I invented,¨ I had sex only once,and that's because I believed that old saying my parents use to tell me,¨ If you do it right the first time you don't have to come and do it over again.¨ Also I came up with some ideas for t-shirts, remember the hamburger helper commercial that had the little talking hand , well put him on a blank t-shirt and have the saying,¨ never bite the hand that's feeds you¨ another idea is just to have this saying on a t-shirt,¨ Im anal retentive, in other words Im a perfect asshole!!!!. Heres some more old jokes that need work anyways here it goes, Im going to write a book on famous people who use Viagra,It's going to be a pop-up book!!!!. Ever hear about the girl with the big nose?.. her nose was so big, she was giving blowjobs sideways. Hey whats the worst feeling a woman can have?... Shes about the have the best orgasm of her life and all of a sudden the batteries go dead. Heres one that I need to seriously rework hey some people like it,

There once was this guy who was impotent. So he went to the doctor to fix his problem. The guy says to his doctor,Doc Im ashamed of my impotency and I dont want people seeing me taking Viagra pills.The Doctor replies, Don't worry about it , we've got Viagra pills that look like candy, no one will suspect a thing.Just make sure no one sees you taking the them out of the prescription bottle.The guy then says, No problem I'll just hide them in my fred flinstone pez dispenser.So the guy goes home and puts the pills in his pez dispenser. Later that night he wants to make love to his wife so he takes a pill out of his pez dispenser and with the instant excitement forgets to put the dispenser back in his pockets and leaves the pez dispenser on the kitchen counter. The next morning his son josh is in the kitchen eating breakfast and notices the pez dispenser, and says, cool a fred flintstone dispenser.. better take this with me to school. So at school josh™s friends proudly shows his pez dispenser to his friends, afterwards they all ask if they can have some pez candy .. so josh gives one to each of his friends and to himself, 5 minutes later all of them have pointy pants, so one of joshs friends says , hey buddy what the hell,what kind of candy did you give us ? Josh replies, I dunno, but I guess you could call it hard candy!!!!! So a hubby and his hideous wife go into a pharmacy to do some shopping. As they are waiting at the cash register the wife notices something strange in her husbands basket . So shes says, honey why are you buying an eye patch? You don't have an eye infection and you can see perfectly from both eyes! So the husband says, well when I put the eye patch on now you will only look half as ugly as you did before.! Heres bill Clinton insulting monica Lewinsky. Hey monica, too bad I didn't know you in my bachelor years . I could've hired you as stripper in a cakeBut then again I'm afraid you would've eaten the cake inside out and ruined the surprise for everyone else. Hey did you know a sex toy company is coming out with a twisted version of play-doh?.. Its called play-dildoh. Heres a put down you can use if people ever make fun of how you look, hey my dog gets more compliments from men/women than you do! .. An elderly couple are at the museum , they come up to the statue of david, and the wife starts admiring it, saying how lovely and great it is.. well the husband starts getting jealous because his wife seems to be giving more attention and compliments to the statue than he has ever had had from his wife , so he says So whats so great about the statue?.. whats it got that I don't have?.. the wife replies with a grin on her face, For one thing he's always hard!!.. also I don't know if I thought of this before but heres another idea for tootsie rolls pop commercial, have someone sucking on a tootsie roll pop and then say, theres a sucker born ever minute on a toostsie roll pop. a priest commits a crime ,is it considered a white collar crime?. If a person in a wheelchair does a comedy routine, is it still stand up? Whats the safest stock to invest in? Reefer stock!'s always guaranteed to go high!.. I have a friend whose so fat that he needs 2 weight for each foot ! Okay I know I should keep my day job, but hey I tried my best to okay now to the serious stuff.

Besides being a weird little man(im 5 10, 180 lbs) Im also a very flexible person who doesnt mind horseback riding, going to the aquarium/museum,the opera, staying at home watching a movie , playing chess or board games. hoping to meet someone who always keeps an open mind to whatever crazy idea that i come up with. i like doing a lot of things, as i believe everything new that i learn , will only make me a better person and less ignorant. I love the knowledge and experience that comes with trying something new. Hey maybe you can teach something new and i can teach you something new.

. Im a thoughtful person who always thinks of others before himself. If I was in a relationship and I was reading the Sunday paper and happened to stumble upon a coupon for my partners favorite make-up , I would cut it out attach it to a sticky note and write,¨ thought I would save you money babe¨ and put it in her purse.I guess I get satisfaction in helping others without getting anything in return. That feeling that you get from making someone happy , is worth more to me than money or any material goods.I also take pleasure in cheering people up, hey if my partner had a bad day or feeling under the weather, i would probably give her a nice massage and feed her fresh strawberries dipped in hot dark chocolate. Money and material possessions are fleeting but the lasting memory of helping or making someone feel better is forever. I think honesty is my best trait, being honest is so much easier, why go to the trouble of lying, when in the end it catches up with you. What I've just said is charming but means nothing if I can't put it to action. I rather do than talk, here's an example: would you rather date a guy who can charm you too death but does not keep his words.. Basically he's all talk and no action or would you rather date a mime. Sure you'll have communication problems in a relationship with a mime, but at least his actions speak louder than his words.( bad joke I know just trying to make a point). Anyone can talk but few keep their words, I really hate people like that.

I'm also a type of person who likes to keep things fresh. I like to keep my partner on their tip toes. I like to keep them guessing on what I'm going to do next. One of the secrets to a good relationship is not to let it get stale. Many couples fall into a routine,doing the same things over and over again. Its like at the beginning the guy does everything he can to get the girl but once he gets her, he gets uncreative and does the same thing over and over again. Hey relationships and life are about variety. Personally I'm not the guy that would follow the standard procedure aka where the guy gets a girl flowers and chocolates. Personally I would come up with a more creative idea such as mystery grab bag, which is a hallmark gift bag filled with such goodies such a chocolates,a lottery ticket,a pez dispenser,make up kit,a good book etc. Yeah I like to separate myself from the herd , don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with giving a girl flowers and chocolates, but to me it sounds redundant and over used.

Anyways hoping to meet someone where we can start out as buddies as I believe when you date someone expectations are high, you put to much pressure on date. I believe getting to know someone over a long period time (as friends) can tell if your right for each other. Hey when you go on date you or you date may have had a bad day and that may leave an undesirable impression. Anyways sorry im not good at this writing thing but if your interested feel free to write back. Oh yeah one more thing heres my list of favorite movies,tv shows, board games ,video games and other gibberish.

Favorite movies: weird science,platoon, sniper, napoleon dynamite,clerks(1 and 2),breakfast club,fast times at ridgemonte high, Harold and kumar, bill and ted excellent adventure,a very Brady sequel adventure,transformers the movie,anger management,not another teen movie, karate kid 1,2, rocky III, rocky balboa, home alone 1 and 2, problem child 1 and 2,chucky, nightmare on elm street (all of them),searching for bobby fischer,ferris buellers day off,the crow, ghostbusters,E.T., star wars(all of them), star trek(all movies) the lost boys,goonies,the outsiders,back to the future(1 and 2),a very brady sequel.last of the Mohicans,clueless,mean girls,lord of the flies,stand by me,Goodwill hunting,searching for bobby fischer, Indiana jones,little nicky,Brewster millions,billy Madison,enter the dragon,dodgeball,hitch,therock,ratatouille and gremlins( all 3 movies).

Favorite childhood shows and current favorites; kung fu, weird science: the series,Dinosaurus,Wonderfalls,sledgehammer,bewitched,zoobilee zoo,gomer pyle,Gangland,adventures of pete and pete,saved by the bell,the transformers,king of queens, the honeymooners,Seinfeld,the Bernie mac show smurfs,transformers,gi joe,get along gang,pacman, the shirt-tales, force five, Mindfreaks,starblazers,voltron,beavis and butthead,Webster, punky Brewster,different strokes, all in the family, baby looney tunes, batman:animated adventures, I dream of jeannie,1000 ways to die,teenwolf,snorks,doug,rugrats,spongebob,malcom in the middle,smallville, Garfield and friends,rugrats,supernatural,everbody loves Raymond, Johny zero, last comic standing( seasons 2 and 3),the littles,Alvin and the chipmunks, heathcliff,wait till your father gets home, mr.belvidere,home improvement,dennis the menace,little archie,Family Ties, yogibear,flinstones,aqua hunger teen force, reno911,chappelle show, you cant do that on television, heman and the masters of the universe,gobots,ducktales,silver spoons, chip and dale, the Charlie brown show,alf, fat albert,the munsters,leave it to beaver, spiderman and his amazing friends,bewitched,teenage mutant ninja turtles, Kirby, dragonball z, battle of the planets,muppet babies, the muppets,Richie rich, angel,buffy the vampire slayer,stargate, family ties,wonder years,the highlander,airwolf,hey Arnold,charles in charge,facts of life,knightrider,family guy,facts of life,happy days,Baywatch, parker lewis cant lose,brady bunch, life goes on,tour of duty,thundercats,alice,golden girls,Sanford and son,happy days,one day at time,facts of life,the fall guy,welcome back kotter, threes company,perfect strangers,mask,ghostbuster,growing pains,I love lucy,whos the boss,small wonder,Kirby,dragonball z,avatar,alf,quantum leap,Laverne and Shirley,simpsons,I think I should stop now cause ive got like a 100 more shows lol.

Favorite board games: operation,life, battleship,chess,chutes and ladders,hungry hungry hippo, mouse trap and of course chess!!!.

Favorite music bands: skid row( 18 and life), def leppard, toto,motley crue,poison,guns and roses,bon jovi,warrant, van halen, Madonna, new kids on the block(just joking )whitesnake,nirvana, Duran Duran,pink floyd.

Best songs: ordinary world(duran duran),Africa(toto). House of fire(Alice Cooper)
jump(van halen)
Best tv show theme song: welcome back kotter, adventures of pete and pete,dukes of hazard.

Favorite sport: tetherball and dodgeball lol

Favorite chick flicks: clueless,mean girsl(hey they are very funny!)
Best tv show series that should've lasted longer? The crow, stairway to Heaven,and Sledgehammer,wonderfalls,Dinosaurus. Also I think NBC should make a series about forrest gump.

Favorite wrestlers : curt henning,randy savage,raven,Hulk Hogan, owen hart,kurt angle,the rock,demolition,warlord,barbarian,shawn Michaels..

Favorite cereals:cocoa pebbles,cocoa puffs, count chocula,golden grams,apple jacks.

Favorite gum: bazooka joe grape, great tasting gum, comes with a a comic and tells your fortune ,what can ask more from a gum. lol

Favorite history channel tv show: Gangland

Favorite movie and tv characters:Jack Oneill, Bruce lee,master Po,Quinn Mallory,master Po,Gizmo,gonzo,slimer(ghostbusters)fozzie bear,gargamel,archie bunker, boom boom Washington,juan Epstein,alf, AC slater,ferris bueller, zach,Parker Lewis morris,angel,spongebob,Charlie brown,Duncan mcleod brainysmurf,forrest gump,spiderman,macgyver,Donald duck,Eric Draven,Winnie the pooh,tigger,jughead jones, sam and dean Winchester(supernatural) lex luthor(smallville), green arrow ,Michael knight(knight rider),jeff spicolli,batman, randall (clerks)kara(smallville),destro,cobra commander, white shadow,major blood,pete and pete,endless mike,batman,roscoe Coltrane,orko,daisy dukes.

Favorite transformers: starscream,galvatron,megatron,stunticons,aerialbots,dinobots,combaticons,omega supreme,shockwave,soundwave,cyclonus,rumble.

Favorite childhood comics: Archie comics,peanuts and calvin and hobbes.

Favorite romantic things to do: I know this gonna sound lame, but I think cuddling up with someone on a couch with a cup of hot chocolate , watching a movie or Saturday cartoons together is romantic, otherwise nothing beats a walk on the beach followed with a picnic,or a hot air ballon ride. Oh yeah this might not be so romantic but it would be cool to go to a magic workshop with someone and learn to to do magic together. You know practice with each other.

All time favorite video games: animal crossing( this game totally cracks me up :)
Mike tysons punch out,Zelda,castlevania, super mario3, tecmo bowl,san andreas,tekken 5,Grand theft auto 4, vice city,legends of wrestlemania.

By the way does anyone remember lasertag and photon?

Also does anyone remember collecting garbagepail kids?

Also does anyone remember teddy ruxpin?

Hey anyone have or had the smurfs pvcs?( the little plastic smurfs) I remember playing with them and along with the transformers,gi joe,he-man toys , they rocked!!!!!!!!!

Slinkys also kick ass!!!

Smurfs or snorks?

Vinny Barbarino or Fonzie?

Bill and Ted or Wayne and Garth?

Bo Duke or Luke Duke?

Tom Cruise or Johnny Depp? ( I pick Johnny Depp, just because he was cool on 21jumpstreet)

Kitt or General Lee?

Parker Lewis or Ferris Bueller?

Anyone ever solve Rubicks cube?.... I know obviously theres a trick to it the only trick I know is peeling off the stickers and placing them back!

Who do you think got higher SAT scores Samuel Screech Powers or Steve Urkel?

Anyone besides me wants to see NBC bring back Alf?... I have all the seasons on dvd and I tell you he's one frickin funny dude?

Oh one more thing did anyone remember trying to break dance back in the day? I remember getting an empty cardboard box and trying to spin on my head all while listening to a big stereo system. lol

Monday, September 21, 2009

meat loaf - 44 (portsmouth)

Date: 2009-09-20, 12:42PM EDT
need a woman that can make a delica real meet loaf.i am craving a meat loaf,and romance.any girl that can make a good meat loaf,is the best please reply meat loaf or you will be deleted

Location: portsmouth

Nice man seeks Woman to spend the winter with in a warm place - 50 (seacoast)

Date: 2009-09-20, 8:17PM EDT
Full time RV'r seeks wonderful woman to travel south with him for the winter. Leaving soon. Must have nice boobs and between ages of 25 to 45 Sound interesting. It could be fun for the right woman. If interested send photo and I will send you mine

Location: seacoast

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Let's do this. - 29 (Manchester, nh)

Date: 2009-08-29, 7:22AM EDT
About me, I am 29. I live in Manchester, work here as well. I am in shape, and do a lot to keep it that way. I would expect a woman to be in shape as well. I have many faces to my personality. The majority of the time I am a very sarcastic individual with a propensity to see the positive power in negative thinking. The rest of the faces come out with different situations, usually an adaption to my environment. Underneath it all I have a very basic set of rules and principles that are adhered to at all times. Not to confuse this with a mental disease, I believe most people use this adaption without ever recognizing it. I drink, not to excess maybe 6 a week. I usually stick to beer, dark beer with a lot of bitterness and flavor. I like my beer to match my soul. I do not ever let an emotion cloud my judgment or base any decision off of circumstantial evidence. When it comes to performing dangerous stunts, let's just say I do a lot of them, mainly on a mountain bike. What I am looking for, is a female who has a level head on their shoulders. One who can not flip out in a stressful situation. Victim mentality is a real deal breaker. One who can set and keep plans without constantly canceling them, I know life is busy and unpredictable, but when there is an excuse why you can't make every date set, then I have to believe you aren't interested. One who understands that those who win in life can contingency plan well and execute those plans with speed and precision. Preferably someone who can keep up with me on the mountain bike or kick my ass at it would be pretty impressive. Hope to hear from you.

Location: Manchester, nh

finacially stable - 27 (concord)

Date: 2009-08-29, 12:19AM EDT
my name is bryan i live in concord n.h. i am 27 . i have two jobs and i am also wealthy.looking for beautiful gals that want a nice wealthy man.

Location: concord

Friday, August 28, 2009

Not a Pervery

Come see me at work :) - 24 (Portsmouth)
Date: 2009-08-28, 4:32PM EDT
Well call me crazy, but where I work is the perfect place to have a little fun...I work by myself, and it can get very comfortable. A little about me, I am 24, down to earth, cute and sexy. Not a "troll" not a pervery, or some old, weird dude..I consider myself quite a catch. And no I am not SPAM or a bot or whatever. Just looking to have some fun during this very lonely, boring work day, and just looking to shake things up a bit with the right girl..try something new and different. And if you must know, I am all about MUTUAL satisfaction..which means it isnt all about me, I consider myself to be a very giving person :)
So email me for more details! Please send a pic with a response and I will send one right back..please no games as I am very serious. Hope to hear from you soon!

Location: Portsmouth

Sweat smile - m4w

Date: 2009-08-23, 4:11PM EDT
Kate at the gas station in Seabrook. we talked about the weather while you were ringing me up. Your sweet smile made my day!

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Half Mad with Lyme Disease

Looking for mellow live-in relationship - 38 (Somersworth)
Date: 2009-08-18, 9:58AM EDT
Despite being employed and caring well for her child, my last girlfriend is a slowly deteriorating, pharmacy-addicted basket case who can't handle more than the basics to get by in life. I biked 16 miles to see her (I sold my car in May) and she didn't even have the courtesy to tell me she didn't want to see me that night. She was gone so all I got was a note saying not to call or see her again so I had to ditch my bike at night and waste money on a cab because I had a full day's work the next day.

I'm not wealthy by any means but I work for myself and have a day job. I have no criminal record, don't smoke, and I don't drink more than 2 beers at a time every 2 or 3 months. I've never verbally or physically abused a woman and I will walk 16 miles home rather than lift a finger in anger. I tried to make my last girlfriend's life more comfortable -- I got her a replacement microwave to fix the cracked one she stood in front of all the time, gave her daughter a brand-new iPod, got her backrubs when her accident injuries bothered her and mowed the lawn and shoveled for her a few times -- but her mood swings and aloofness finally doomed what we had together.

I have tried very hard to be the person my parents wanted me to be without being a self-serving type A personality. I think I've done okay. Would just like to meet a woman who can forgive and be forgiven but isn't a doormat or a lurking nutcase. People still think I'm 25 but the inevitabilities of age are starting to accumulate, so I'm looking for someone my age, not a midlife crisis trophy that many others abandon fine women for.

I can cover my half of the rent but since I got back from a failed project with 1200 websites (the owner was stubborn and half-mad with Lyme disease) my income has been pretty basic and I have to move back out of my parents' place to a place within walking distance of Tri-City Plaza where I work. I lose Maine income tax from my check every week so I would be grateful to find a place with someone in NH.

I know that living together even as roommates is a big commitment, so if you would like to take it slow and get to know me, please just say hello. If you'd just like to consider me as a roommate and don't need or want the extra complications of a relationship, that's fine too.

No scam artists, no pill junkies, and no entitlement queens, because out there is a woman who truly deserves a fun, respectful, and kind relationship, and you don't deserve to take it from her and waste my time.

Location: Somersworth

The Last Good Man Needs a Dictionary

LAST GOOD MAN - 48 (nh.)
Date: 2009-08-18, 6:32PM EDT
Any good men?... Well here I am... Most likely the last one in these parts of nh. Do you like to be treated extra special? Do you like to get flowers, candy, jewlery, money for shopping? I can give you what you feel your entitled to. If you need some real good loving then your at the right place. You need to be attractive, in shape, a one man kind of girl. I'm looking for younger, but if you can change my mind then cool. Me very handsome I am told, but I already knew that. S I N G L E... not attached in any way shape or form. Very independant... love kids, animals, nature, some sports, music and a social drink now & then. I work very hard and am committed to my work as I play a major role in the company. My lifestyle is simple... Quality time is my favorite time! I begin work before the sunrise and hope to be in bed by 9:00pm with you or without you. I would love to come home to a home cooked meal and have a sexy little desert shortly after every night. My expectations might be a little high for the web so I ask to see photos before I reply.

Location: nh.

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

looking for a nice girl - 41 (new hampshire)
Date: 2009-08-18, 7:28PM EDT
if there are any nice girls out there i would like to hear from you i am honest goodlooking romantic and respectful if you expect that from a man than im the guy for you i will save the details for our conversation you will not be dissapointed i am what i say i am

Location: new hampshire